what is friendship?
after 20 years of living, i’m come back to the basic definition of friendship..
how can be consider as a good friend?
is it about how much effort we put in to our friends?
is it about how much money we spend on friends?
fetching.. everytime have gathering have to fetch BUNCH of people.. even though some of them own a car but they don’t use it.. that’s fine.. really fine.. i don’t expect to get anything from them for fetching them.. REALLY! but am i deserve a scold when i refuse to fetch once? am i?
she scold me in her msn personal message “最讨厌吝啬鬼,没有责任感的混蛋!”
the worst thing i heard from her is “i’m so dissappointed to have a friend like you”
i tried my best not to think too much, not to care so much of this.. but.. don’t they think? the money i’m spending now.. who is it from? my parents, who take care of my car’s petrol money? my parents.. so can you count that i’m saving it for myself? can you count me as selfish? and how my parents get all those money? or they though my parents can earn money easily? i have to keep it secret not to let my parents know what i did.. fetching them.. because i will get scold..
here’s something.. i did one time.. spent 1 hour in fetching.. FETCHING ONLY! from my house(tanjung tokong) –> Greenlane –> Farlim –> Georgetown, and then.. when time to go home, Georgetown –> Jelutong –> Greenlane –> Farlim –> my house, please help me calculate how much petrol i have wasted?
and i can’t ask “why don’t u drive?” or “why don’t u ask mr. A to fetch?” i tell you lah.. they will think “u can’t fetch meh? why ask so much? donwan to fetch mah no need loh” something like that..
am i treating them not good enough yet? i treat them better than treating my family.. is that still not enough?
no matter how many effort i put in to change my bad attitute, no matter how i tried to change to someone they expected me to be.. useless.. i’m still a “Mr. Nobody”
i know them since primary school.. since that time.. i am already the one who being ignore.. why? is it my problem or their problems?
funny.. don expect my name to come out in their blog.. even if it does also remember me about fetching only.. is that what i deserve? in their point of view am i only simply a free driver?
everytime gathering.. i’m an invisibleman.. nobody listen what i’m trying to say.. nobody cares.. i sit beside alone.. nobody talking to me.. can’t join in their topics too.. different channel..
actually i don’t have any problems in communicating with others, last time in CLHS i’m getting quite well with my classmates.. now in my class also i’m a talktive person, always tell jokes.. but not in front of them.. no.. they keep on talking among themselves.. again.. is that what i deserve?
i’m tired of it.. i am.. fine.. no friends? who cares.. i don’t need them.. so.. GOODBYE OLD FRIENDS!!